So I Used to Write Poetry...

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Today I'm going to share something a little out of the ordinary... there was a time when I used to write poetry, mainly back when I was a teenager, and the topics revolved mainly around relationships.  Writing has always been my way of coping with feelings and emotions that I couldn't otherwise express out loud.  So that's why most of my early poems include heartbreak and may have more of a sad vibe.

Anyway, the other day I discovered a lost poem that I'd written, probably in 2007 or 2008, for a poetry contest within NexusTK's weekly challenge.  This was part of a requirement needed to advance to the next level also, but I don't think I won with this poem.  I'm going to share it here because upon reading it again, I really thought I did a nice job with this. 😊  I don't feel like I could still write the same way nowadays, but... never say never, right?  Anyway, here it is:

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Untitled

I've never been an open book ~
The real me hidden deep beyond that first look
Complex yet simple, sealed shut tight
Cloaked in darkness, shielded from the light.

I was sure I'd never find
Someone to know my heart, soul and mind.
That special one determined enough to break through
The existence of a person I never knew.

    Until one sweet summer day
    When the spirits of love came out to play.

He took me by surprise,
Igniting an emotion I felt had reached its demise.
He dug at the seams of this closed book
Itching and scratching to get past that first look.

He gave me a reason to brighten my world
And the courage to let him see my feelings unfold.
With my soul set free, gone was the need to hide
Because of that wonderful feeling deep down inside.

Another Birthday!

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So it's safe to say that March is a pretty important month in our family, and today is another special day, as it is my dad's birthday!  Although he's probably not having the best time at the moment, seeing as he just recently had knee replacement surgery and is still in recovery.  But I still made sure to send him a 'happy birthday' text early this morning, since he is supposed to be resting and I didn't want to possibly wake him up if he was sleeping.  (He's 3 hours ahead of me, so it wouldn't have been too early to contact him.)

So anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad! 🎂🎈🎉

Here are some photos from his early years, along with my favorites from my wedding last year. 💙💜

I love him so much and I would not be the person I am today without him in my life.  I hope he manages to have the best day he can possibly have, in his current condition.

A Forgotten Birthday... On Purpose!

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First off, this is another special day in my family, this time because it is my brother's birthday.  I called him first thing this morning, and he claimed to have forgotten that today was his birthday, because he said at his age, he just wanted to let the day go by.  (He's 3 years older than me.)  Haha.  I wished him a happy birthday anyway, and found out that he is at least being taken out to dinner for his birthday, but that is the extent of the "celebration."  Anyway, so happy birthday to him! 🎈🎂😊  Hopefully, he will have some cake and ice cream, or some kind of similar dessert.

In other news... today has been a very laid-back kind of day.  My mom called with some computer problems this morning, and I spent some time getting MalwareBytes installed on her computer remotely (via TeamViewer) and it turned out that she had 748 'threats.' 😧  So I made sure to quarantine all of those bad boys and advised her to do a scan at least every two weeks, unless the computer starts acting funky again.  Whew, crisis averted.

We seriously have not done anything else today.  And I don't really have anything else to talk about.  Haha.  So I guess I'll see you all tomorrow. 😉

Happy Birthday Granny!

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So today is a special day in my family, as it is my Granny's birthday.  She is 94 years old today!  In honor of that, I thought I'd share a couple of photos.  I've only recently come into contact with some really early photos of her that I'd never seen before, which is pretty cool.  I love looking at old photos, specifically the backgrounds and seeing how much things have changed since those days.  There's just something that has always fascinated me about it.  And even more so in exploring old areas and finding buildings that were around back then as well.  Anyway...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANNY! 🎈🎂🎉🎁

I think this is when she was a teenager, so I'm guessing this was maybe late 1930s or early 1940s.  There's no confirmation on the date though, so that is purely a guess.

The most recent photo I have of my Granny & I together; this was taken in July 2016. 💜

She is the sweetest person and I love her so much.  I wish I could get out to see her much more often than I'm able to.  But I know she is surrounded by family where she is and she gets to see them very often.  She's remarkably alert and of sound mind (though she does forget things sometimes, such as the fact that I live in California) and I only hope that I can say the same when I'm her age!

Laziness & Lake Tahoe

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So March has just turned into not-so-much of a good month for me, regarding this blog and also reading.  I've hit a bit of a snag, because one of my current books is just so difficult to come back to every day... I'm having trouble with how the dialogue is written and it's annoying me, but I'm really trying to overlook it in favor of the actual storyline.  I'm not one to give up on a book so easily though, so I'm just attempting to give it all the chances I can.

As for writing blog posts... I'm sure you noticed that I missed another few days again... ugh.  Some of that is because my pinky & ring fingers on my left hand is in a state of near-constant numbness and it makes it difficult to actually type at times.  The rest of it is simple laziness and being spontaneously busy.

For example, we took a somewhat spontaneous road trip over to Lake Tahoe on Monday, as a belated way to celebrate our one-year anniversary last Friday.  [Head over to my Instagram feed to view a few of the photos that I took while there, since that laziness has kicked in again and it will be a fair amount of time before I can put together a photoblog post] I was bummed that we didn't get to go to Seattle, but I still had a great time being in the presence of all that beautiful snow!  I definitely got my 'snow fix,' but I didn't wanna leave, and I wish we could have spent much more time there.  But alas, the hubby isn't as much a fan of playing in the snow as I am, and he wanted to go to Cabela's in Reno, which is the closest location to us.  And also to a few gun stores, so that was his portion of the trip.  Haha.

Anyway... that's all I've got for today so until tomorrow... (Maybe!) 😼

Happy St. Patty's Day!

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Happy St. Patty's Day from Guinness & I!

Well, first off, happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone who happens to stumble upon this post! 🍀🍻🎉  This is the second year in a row that we have not gone to my mother-in-law's house, to have dinner of corned beef & cabbage, with her and at least one of my brother-in-laws.  Last year, it was because it was the aftermath of our wedding and my visiting family and I were [slowly] traveling through wine country over to San Francisco for the weekend.  This year, it's because my mother-in-law has been my brother-in-law's live-in caregiver after his stint in the hospital and so we weren't sure how he would be doing, so no definite plans were made.  But I have to say, I'm really missing our old St. Paddy's Day "tradition."  We're planning to have pork tamales for dinner instead, with refried black beans and tortilla chips, which I am not so excited about.  Eh.  Oh well, maybe next year life won't throw us so many obstacles and it will work out once more.  I'm not even a huge fan of corned beef, yet I find myself really missing it this time of year.  At least I had a St. Patrick's Day shirt to wear this year, which you can sorta see in the photo above!  Though I still got pinched by the hubby's brother earlier today, because he closed his eyes and claimed that he didn't see me wearing green.  Ha ha. -rolls eyes-

Speaking of earlier today, we went out and saw Tomb Raider in the IMAX theatre.  I wasn't really looking forward to it, because I've never been a big fan of the Lara Croft thing, but I have to admit that I did enjoy the movie, MUCH more than I was expecting!  It had plenty of action and mystery, and even a little glimpse of horror, which took me somewhat by surprise.  The sequence at the end of the film was probably my favorite part, where they're making their way deeper into the tomb, having to figure out the puzzles in the blink of an eye, with their lives at stake.  I was on the edge of my seat almost the whole time, ready to hide my eyes if necessary!

That's about all I have for today.  Hope everyone has had a wonderful day and remembered to drink responsibly, if you're taking part in the celebration of St. Patrick's Day with alcohol. 😉

The Story of Us

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Today is the one year anniversary of our wedding!  

I can't believe it's already been a whole year! The video above is a montage I created shortly before the wedding last year in celebration of the relationship with my husband, throughout the years that we've been together, from the moment (literally, the first picture is from that day!) when we decided to take our 5-year-friendship that step further into a relationship in May of 2009, leading up to our marriage on March 16, 2017. 💕😍

That's all for today.

Return of Food Truck Thursdays + First Vigil

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So today is the day that Food Truck Thursdays starts up again!  I'm so excited!  😁  We started making this a weekly 'tradition' last fall when it was introduced.  It's an event that brings together a variety of food trucks, offering a diverse selection of cuisines, all in one place.  It also inspires a sense of community in a city that could desperately use some positive attitudes and people.  We've grown somewhat close to the host, making sure to take a few moments to talk with him every week and see what's going on in the world of food trucks.  I'm going to start looking forward to Thursday nights once again.  It's also an excuse to not have to figure out dinner, besides what truck I'm going to hit up. 😜

Last night we attended a candlelight vigil for three women who were killed last week in a fatal hostage situation at the Veterans Home of California located in Yountville, which is about 60 miles away from us.  It was the first time I had ever been to something like that and there was a very somber vibe among the crowd.  It's horrible to hear what happened, especially after they had attempted to help the veteran who ended up cutting their lives short.  After hearing some prominent people from the community talk, candles were lit in honor of the victims, and we were instructed to blow them out as one, as a symbol of unity and moving on from this tragic occurrence.  It hit my hubby pretty hard from both sides of the spectrum, from having veterans in his family and having worked previously in mental health institutions, knowing what these women went through and sacrificed in order to help those veterans who needed it.

Today is also the birthday of a friend of mine, whom I met through my forum, so I wish the happiest of birthdays to Shanny. 😀🎈🎉🎂 I'll have to remember to ask her how 35 feels, because I will be there in another few short months! 😳

A Futile Impasse

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Have you ever watched a TV show that you've invested a fair amount of time into, only to have it end up hitting far too close to home?  That's what's happening to me right now with a show on Netflix: Party of Five.  I feel like I've reached this impossible quandary where I don't know if I can continue, because it brings up these horrible memories that I've spent years attempting to forget.  Though no matter how much time goes by, I still remember every moment as if it happened yesterday.  How is it that only the terrible stuff sticks around? -sigh-

I'm about halfway into the 5th season when this storyline involving Julia (Neve Campbell) has started to develop and there are only 6 seasons in the whole series, so I feel like I'm too close to the end to just quit, but it's seriously taking an effort to watch what feels like a remake of my life from over ten years ago.  Ugh.  I initially started watching the show because <sup>1)</sup> I'd never seen it before, even though it came out in the late 90's and <sup>2)</sup> it is based in San Francisco, which I thought would be cool to watch, since now I have actually been out there multiple times and somewhat know the area.  I've been annoyed with every one of the members of the Salinger family at least once so far, most specifically Charlie (Matthew Fox) because he's just a pompous asshole that only cares about himself.  I suppose I will just wait it out and see how the writers chose to deal with this situation that Julia's getting herself mixed up in.

You may think I'm just making too big a deal of this, but you can't really judge unless you have been in the same situation.  Trust me on that. 😉

Anyway... that's what has been on my mind today.  Until tomorrow!

Pining for the Past

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So, I know I missed quite a few days since my last post.  I just haven't really felt like detailing every day lately, so that's the reason I'm going with.  Let's just leave it at that.

Yesterday, I played around with Discord a bit, creating a dedicated server for my forum, mainly because I wanted to get more familiar with the program and stuff, since I'm still a slight newbie.  And I really like it.  So much more than Skype!  Plus, the phone app doesn't drain my battery the way that Skype's did.  I made a graphic for my forum's 14th anniversary as well, which I used when creating an event on Facebook, to try and get some more activity there.  Facebook also reminded me that I'd become friends with one of my original members 10 years ago, so I shared that with her and we got to talking and she ended up coming back to the forum AND joining the Discord server also! 😁 Which makes me happy.  I really miss the old days and her being back makes me reminisce on how it used to be with forum-ing, before Facebook & other social media took over.  I so wish I could bring that back again.

I woke up with my arm hurting a bit this morning, and after a few brief moments of confusion, I realized it's from yesterday when I was outside with Dozer and he went for something that he saw on the side of the house (probably a cat), yanking my arm suddenly, so much that it felt like he pulled it out of socket... but luckily for me, I still have some of my muscle relaxant medication, so I took one dose, because my neck was hurting a bit this morning as well.  Ugh.

Annoying way to start my day.  And I fear that it's only going to get worse, but that's another story entirely.  One that I'd rather not get into right now.  Or ever. 😠

The 'Joy' of Jessica Jones

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Well, today started out pretty hopeful, with no trace of the pain in my neck when I woke up this morning, compared to the two previous ones where I could barely move my neck without excruciating pain.  I was so happy to have finally remembered what it was like to start the day without the pain.  Unfortunately, that feeling did not last.  Around 1:30pm, it all came rushing back, seemingly with a vengeance.  Ugh.  I'm so tired of this.  I really hope my body gets the hint soon.

On to other news, I was excited that the second season of Jessica Jones came out today!  I'd seen it every time I opened Netflix and couldn't wait for the hubby to get home so we could start watching. We ended up getting through the first three episodes before it was time for Chicago Fire, which was the conclusion of the crossover episode from Chicago PD, and I quickly realized that I was lost, since I'd been passed out from the muscle relaxant medication last night.  Oh well.  I loved the beginning of  Jessica Jones and I can't wait to see more!  She is definitely my favorite.

I need to attempt to get some sleep now, so goodnight, world. 😉

Finding a Fix [Hopefully]

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So, let's start with the good about today.  I went ahead and registered for another month on Nexus.  Mainly because I realized that I could get my 11th year 'wisdom gown,' which is a sort of incentive for playing the game and sticking around.  You get a different exclusive outfit for every year that you've had an account.  So since I created my character back in March of 2007, I was able to claim my 11th year gown.  And while I didn't like it at first, I made it work, via finding the perfect color palette, or dye.  I actually like to make a cumulative graphic with every dye available in the game, which I call my dye charts.  They help for knowing what an outfit will look like, before spending money on the dye at a future date.  So, after spending a good chunk of my morning on a big event quest, I took quite a few screenshots of this new gown in some of the different dyes.  And that's the 2D version of me that you see in the top left [Apey].  Well, not exactly, but pretty close!  I only wish I had that badass dragon staff to carry around with me. 😜

And now on to the crappy, near-anxiety-attack-filled portion of my day.  After dealing with this neck pain off and on for the past 3 weeks, I finally went in to the urgent care clinic today, to see if I could get it checked out, since I do not have a primary doctor picked out.  After waiting about an hour after checking in, I finally got called back to a room, only for the nurse practitioner to appear a bit confused at my symptoms... although she did say that I would probably need a higher level of care, then she ordered a bunch of x-rays of my neck.  So I was led to the room where they do that, completely nervous and scared because I've never had anything like that done before... but thankfully, the guy that took the pictures was really nice and understanding of me being such a baby about it all.

I will say, waiting for the results was just about the hardest 25 minutes that I've had to face in a very long time.  Especially waiting by myself... going over all of the worst-case scenarios and trying to prevent myself from just breaking down crying right there in that empty room that seemed like it was closing in on me, minute by minute.  Ugh.  I hated it.  In the end, it turned out that my bones were fine, nothing was wrong, but there was a small something in the muscle area, which led her to prescribe a muscle-relaxant medication, as well as ibuprofen.  So hopefully this will fix my problem, because otherwise, I will have to go in for an MRI and I don't know how I'd handle that monster....

Better Left Unsaid

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 I don't want to talk about today.  Trust me on this.  It's been horrible on almost every level.  Ugh.  And I just would rather not rehash ANY minute of it.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better, since the bar is obviously not set very high. 😔

Now I'm outta here, to watch This Is Us and forget that today ever happened.

Goodbye Samsung, Hello GE!

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Sooo, my most exciting news from today is what you see above!!  Our new fridge is finally here and completely settled in!  That black slate finish was totally worth the extra wait, I don't care what the hubby says. 😏  And I am loving the little pop-out door (top right photo), where you don't have to open the whole fridge door to reach a few of the most-used items, which for me, would be milk and coffee creamers.  Although I didn't get my way in having the creamers conveniently located on the shelf at the bottom, or even on the swivel shelf in the middle.  But that can be changed later, if necessary.  I'm going to have to get used to opening both doors for the fridge items, instead of that left one being for freezer items only.  The joys of switching from a side-by-side refrigerator to French-door-style.

I love it! 😊 I can't stop myself from just staring at it whenever I'm in the kitchen now.  Haha.  There I go being a dork again.  Until tomorrow!

Waiting [Impatiently] for Tomorrow...

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Sooo, I've noticed now that the people who started this challenge with me have kind of dwindled down in their postings lately.  I totally get it, but it just makes it less fun when there's not so much activity anymore.  It's reminding me of forum-ing actually, because the same concept applies.  And I've tried so very hard with my forum for so many years, only to be disappointed by that sudden drop in postings.  I've already made peace with the fact that it'll never be like it used to, but it's still sad, especially on the days when I'm nostalgic for the past.

Anyway... I really was not in the mood to clean today... AT ALL.  I did end up getting the vacuuming done, as well as unloading/reloading the dishwasher, and cleaning off the kitchen counters, except for the pots & pans that still need to be washed.  But I think I'll save the rest for tomorrow morning, to give me something to do while we wait for the delivery guys to get here with our fridge, since I know I am going to be bouncing off the walls with impatience until they get here!!  Hell, if I felt better right now, I'd be doing that already. 😛

I think we're about to head out to dinner now though, or at least I need to remind the hubby that we need to eat soon, because we had a late-ish breakfast and skipped lunch and my tummy's getting hungry.  I was trying to convince him to go pick it up and bring it back home, so that I can eat at home in pain, instead of at the restaurant, but he wants to go there so that he can get a free refill on the special-flavor-of-lemonade-that-I-can't-remember-what-it's-called-right-now.  Ugh, on to suffer in public, I guess. 😉

Death Wish, Delayed

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So, first off, happy birthday to an old high school friend of mine, John! 🎂🎈🎊 It's been forever since I've seen him, but we stay in touch somewhat regularly via messengers and social media.  I hope he's had a wonderful day, able to do something that he loves, making memories & enjoying the moment. 😄

Anyway, we didn't end up seeing the movie last night, because I wasn't feeling that great, and I couldn't seem to get comfortable at all.  The movie night was pushed to tonight and I have to say, I enjoyed that movie so much more than I thought I would!  Bruce's portrayal of a grieving husband and father searching for revenge on the men who terrorized his family was brilliantly done!  I felt the tension and anger he was feeling all throughout the movie.  I still found myself fidgeting, sometimes because of what was on the screen, but otherwise I don't know why.

Other than that, we went to another gun show this morning, where the hubby found two holsters he liked and some hard-to-find ammo that he bought for a coworker.  Tomorrow, we plan to finish cleaning out the fridge and tidy up the house a bit, in preparation for our new fridge delivery on Monday!

Star Wars For Hours + Movie Night

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Today wasn't so great of a beginning, thanks to an issue that actually started last night, but has now been sorted out. Granted, I kind of used it as an excuse to lose myself in the world of SWTOR, so that I wouldn't have to think about the whole ordeal. And I got a lot done, finally finished all the missions on the planet of Belsavis, which seems to always take the longest, due to having to maneuver around massive walls, demolished structures, and other huge plant life. Despite it being a prison planet, it's actually one of my favorites, graphic-wise, simply for the beauty of its flora.

I ended up having to ditch the game when late afternoon rolled around and started watching Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, which I didn't end up finishing, but that's okay because I've seen it before. I love the imagery in the movie, it is so beautifully done. 😍

My neck started acting up once again, so right now I'm reclining on the couch with the TENS unit, while the hubby cooks dinner: poached salmon, roasted asparagus and quinoa. We plan on going to seth the late showing of Death Wish tonight as well. 🙂 And that's all I have for today. Sorry it was so boring!

New Month, New Book

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So I started out my day with the new selection from B&N Readouts, which I've updated on my 2018 Reading Challenge page.  It's a book about Sherlock Holmes and an adventure that takes him (and Dr. Watson) to Paris to investigate a possible kidnapping of a cabaret singer's son.  I actually have never read any of the Sherlock Holmes stories before (though I do have some in the library of my Nook account), and the extent of what I know about Mr. Holmes is from the movies starring Robert Downey Jr. & Jude Law, which I LOVED!  The banter they share and chemistry the two of them displayed was great to watch.  However, this book starts out pretty dark, with Holmes reverting back to the use of cocaine after a difficult case and a stint in jail ("gaol" as it is referenced in the story, via the 1880s setting), after he was accused of tampering with evidence.  Anyway, I'm giving the story a chance, despite the low reviews it has received on Goodreads.  I never let critics influence my interest in things, as they don't know me personally and can't possibly know what I would like.