One Year Later...

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... TO THE DAY.  Wow.  So I noticed that my last entry was exactly a year ago, when we lost Guinness.  I can still remember that day as if it was only yesterday.  I was reminded this morning via Google by a sweet photo of him on his last day alive, embraced by my mother-in-law.  Little did I know she would be the next to leave us, only 3 short months later.  It's hard to believe how much things can change in a year.  Well, no, I guess it's not that hard to believe, honestly.  A year is a long time.  A truer statement is that the days go by too fast.  But I don't want to start sounding like a broken record.

We are now a 2-dog household again though, thanks to taking in my mother-in-law's chihuahua Mocha after she passed.  There was no way we were going to just leave her where she was, plus she is the only other dog that Dozer gets along with, so it worked out fine.  And it's interesting having both ends of the size spectrum in the same house. 

As for work, the only thing that has changed since last year is that I am on a three-week rotation where I commute into the office for one week, then work from home for two weeks, and the cycle starts over again.  My week in the office happens to be this one and it's been really draining this time, because my mom just left yesterday morning, after a two-week visit.  I woke up around 3am in order to say goodbye to her and just couldn't get back to sleep.  Same for today, though this time it was due to the hubby having to go into work early.  So I'm tired.  And I miss her already. 😔

RIP Guinness /|\ 2006 ~ [9/14] 2020

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It's been a difficult few days in our house.  Late Friday afternoon we were faced with that all-too-familiar hard decision of having to say goodbye to this sweet face~

This adorably smug yet charming Irish setter had been a constant in my life since I moved out here to California back in July of 2009, and it wasn't hard to love him.  Especially after hearing how he was rescued from being abandoned in a Nevada home with his brother, and how his antics while living life in a foster home earned him the nickname 'Spiderman.' 

He'd developed a mass over the past 2 months or so that rapidly grew larger over the past month, and our wishful thinking that it wasn't cancer didn't pay off.  We hadn't seen him in much pain, but then again, he wasn't the kind to show it either.  I think he sensed what was happening yesterday though, because we definitely saw the anguish in him, and it was heartbreaking.  And I know it would have been selfish of us, had we not made the decision for him... but I just miss him being here.  The way he'd rest his paw on your arm or leg while you're sitting on the couch, simply for you to hold it.  He'd hold your hand forever if he could.  It makes my heart hurt less knowing that he's no longer suffering through the pain, because he was too good of a dog to prolong that for any reason.  And much like my Brandy waiting for me all those years ago, I know he would have held on to the very last moment for us, if we had let him.

But at least we got to say a proper goodbye over the weekend, and spoil him silly by giving him as much steak and affection and love that we could. 💚🐾💚  We will miss you Guinness, and you'll always hold a special place in our hearts.

Remembrance & Facing a Hard Truth

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So, for today's post, I'm actually just going to refer to my photoblog's latest entry, because it explains what I'm feeling, as this is always a kind of emotional day of remembrance for me.  It's been twenty-three years since the OKC Bombing took place at 9:02am, and I will always remember that day like it just happened yesterday.  As it says in that post, I can still hear my pup (😢) barking immediately afterwards, and feel the slight shaking of my house when it happened.  (I lived about 13 miles away at the time.)  I don't think I will ever not be able to remember those things.

Anyway... yesterday during the episode of Party of Five that I was watching on my lunch break, I involuntarily broke down crying and had to immediately hug Dozer (because he was out of his crate at the time), while watching the difficult scene of the siblings having to make the impossible decision to end their family dog's life.  And again, it took me right back to my past, to January 10, 2011 when my family had to make the same impossible decision.  And Mari's death at the end of 2016, when we weren't even able to be here to say a proper goodbye to her.  It also got me thinking about our other Irish setter and great dane, and how they are both getting too close to their later years, especially Dozer, who is already 5½ years old and his earliest life expectancy is only 3 more years.  😭  Death just sucks, to put it bluntly.

Ah, but I need to stop thinking about all that right now and get back to work.  So that's all I have for today.  Until tomorrow...

Another Birthday!

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So it's safe to say that March is a pretty important month in our family, and today is another special day, as it is my dad's birthday!  Although he's probably not having the best time at the moment, seeing as he just recently had knee replacement surgery and is still in recovery.  But I still made sure to send him a 'happy birthday' text early this morning, since he is supposed to be resting and I didn't want to possibly wake him up if he was sleeping.  (He's 3 hours ahead of me, so it wouldn't have been too early to contact him.)

So anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad! 🎂🎈🎉

Here are some photos from his early years, along with my favorites from my wedding last year. 💙💜

I love him so much and I would not be the person I am today without him in my life.  I hope he manages to have the best day he can possibly have, in his current condition.

Pining for the Past

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So, I know I missed quite a few days since my last post.  I just haven't really felt like detailing every day lately, so that's the reason I'm going with.  Let's just leave it at that.

Yesterday, I played around with Discord a bit, creating a dedicated server for my forum, mainly because I wanted to get more familiar with the program and stuff, since I'm still a slight newbie.  And I really like it.  So much more than Skype!  Plus, the phone app doesn't drain my battery the way that Skype's did.  I made a graphic for my forum's 14th anniversary as well, which I used when creating an event on Facebook, to try and get some more activity there.  Facebook also reminded me that I'd become friends with one of my original members 10 years ago, so I shared that with her and we got to talking and she ended up coming back to the forum AND joining the Discord server also! 😁 Which makes me happy.  I really miss the old days and her being back makes me reminisce on how it used to be with forum-ing, before Facebook & other social media took over.  I so wish I could bring that back again.

I woke up with my arm hurting a bit this morning, and after a few brief moments of confusion, I realized it's from yesterday when I was outside with Dozer and he went for something that he saw on the side of the house (probably a cat), yanking my arm suddenly, so much that it felt like he pulled it out of socket... but luckily for me, I still have some of my muscle relaxant medication, so I took one dose, because my neck was hurting a bit this morning as well.  Ugh.

Annoying way to start my day.  And I fear that it's only going to get worse, but that's another story entirely.  One that I'd rather not get into right now.  Or ever. 😠

Lots of Tofu & "Puppy" Love!

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Well, today started out like any other typical day.  Until around 2:00pm when I received a random text message from my hubby, saying that my dad told him to take me out to dinner tonight... and eat lots of tofu!  I looked down at my phone with what was probably a perplexed expression.  Turned out my dad was included in the message as well and he says his reason was because it's "Good Friday" (which it's not, lol).  My dad can be a bit kooky sometimes, but in an amusing way. 😜  So now I'm waiting on the hubby to get home, then we're going to drive out about 45 minutes south, to get some Mongolian BBQ at our favorite restaurant!  Thanks for getting me out of cooking once more this week, Dad! 😌

Anyway, so after I took an impromptu shower and finished getting ready, I decided it'd been too long since Dozer & I took a selfie together, so I thought I'd share the best one, over there on the right.  He ditched me at first, but I was able to take advantage of him thinking someone was at the front door, which is why he looks so attentive.  Haha.  And that's a little behind-the-scenes tidbit of how I get him to pose so well, sometimes.  Then I just hope that I look halfway decent as well. 😂  Google reminded me earlier that it was 5 years ago today (2013) that we brought Dozer home, at just 11 weeks old and around 30lbs!  Along with photos that I'd taken that day also... it's hard to believe he was ever that small!  Like children, they grow up entirely too fast.  I wasn't sure our house could handle a dog of his size at first, but I wouldn't give him up for anything. 💙 Even if he does wreck our house a bit (it's funny, because it's totally true; we have the chewed wood molding and dented corner walls to prove it). 

Full-view recommended on that picture, btw! (just click it) I edited it with the Prisma app, to slightly resemble a painting, spicing up the photo a bit.  It's definitely my favorite photo app, especially if you have a not-so-great quality photo, it breathes so much life into the picture.

And that's all for today.  I'm off to relax and hopefully finish off the book I started last weekend at the gun show.

Brandy, Remembered

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I will always remember my first pup, Brandy.  I remember my brother and I begging my mom for a puppy, specifically a golden retriever, and one day in March of 1995, there was a co-worker that had found two puppies in the creek by her house.  And there was no way my mom could keep me from seeing them.  I remember she was the rowdier one, her sister was a bit more reserved.  I can still remember what the room looked like also, amazingly.  Unfortunately we could only take one puppy, though I wanted both.  However, I don't remember how my brother and I came up with her name.  She was a mutt and we never did figure out exactly what breeds she had in her.  I want to believe she had at least a little golden retriever in her, although she was probably more of a Labrador.  Either way, she was the sweetest pup ever.  I miss her so much.  We had to make the impossible decision to end her life seven years ago today. (Actually, on further review, it was the 10th, just to be technically correct)  She had been in our family for sixteen years.  I can still remember her face, looking back at me as they took her away.  I couldn't go in with her.  All I could do was cry.