Queue the Butterflies

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-slowly inhales a large breath and exhales-

So.  I've officially completed the story and submitted it.  Which means the butterflies in my stomach will be wreaking havoc until Sunday when the winner is announced.  I'm slightly bummed though, because when I copied it into the game's mailing system, it was too long.  There was a length requirement that it had to fit within one page of mail, and no more than that.  So I had to majorly skim it down, keeping only the vital information needed.  But I did keep a copy of the original FULL story, which I will share here after the contest is over, since I can't post it until then.  Sooo look for that on Sunday's entry! 😁

I also updated my photoblog this morning (feel free to check that out via the link at the top), with photos that I'd taken from our drive to Oklahoma City back at the end of 2016/beginning of 2017.  I'm so behind on those posts, but I'm already planning another post for the 19th, as a tribute to the memorial of the tragedy that took place on that day 23 years ago (1995), so maybe I'll get caught up soon, if I stay motivated to keep updating.  Anyway, I'm always a little nervous when posting my photos on there, or really with sharing any of my artwork in general.  I don't think I'd make it as a professional in the arts scene, performing or otherwise, because I'm too self-conscious about my stuff.  Ugh. 😶

Especially where writing is concerned.  I always second-guess myself, after reading what I've written, and then have to rewrite and rewrite and rewrite until I'm blue in the face.  And it's a vicious cycle that makes me feel like I'll never get it to sound right.

Anyway... enough about that stuff!  I better go finish getting ready for Food Truck Thursday tonight!  My stomach is already growling! 😋

Monotone Monday

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So I feel like today should be of some importance but I cannot remember why.  I hate when that happens.  It's similar to when you're packing for a trip and you can't shake the feeling that you've forgotten something, no matter how many times you've gone over and over a checklist of what you mean to bring. 😕

Today has been pretty boring.  I finished work about 30 minutes ago, and I'm in the process of washing pots & pans, using the time that it takes to air-dry them as a break, because the hot water tends to activate the numbness in my left ring and pinky fingers.  Hence why the dishes have been slightly piling up, since this issue sprung up about a month and a half ago.  It hasn't gotten too out-of-hand though, as I've been doing small loads when I can.  Although taking a shower pretty much sucks now.

Finding a Fix [Hopefully]

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So, let's start with the good about today.  I went ahead and registered for another month on Nexus.  Mainly because I realized that I could get my 11th year 'wisdom gown,' which is a sort of incentive for playing the game and sticking around.  You get a different exclusive outfit for every year that you've had an account.  So since I created my character back in March of 2007, I was able to claim my 11th year gown.  And while I didn't like it at first, I made it work, via finding the perfect color palette, or dye.  I actually like to make a cumulative graphic with every dye available in the game, which I call my dye charts.  They help for knowing what an outfit will look like, before spending money on the dye at a future date.  So, after spending a good chunk of my morning on a big event quest, I took quite a few screenshots of this new gown in some of the different dyes.  And that's the 2D version of me that you see in the top left [Apey].  Well, not exactly, but pretty close!  I only wish I had that badass dragon staff to carry around with me. 😜

And now on to the crappy, near-anxiety-attack-filled portion of my day.  After dealing with this neck pain off and on for the past 3 weeks, I finally went in to the urgent care clinic today, to see if I could get it checked out, since I do not have a primary doctor picked out.  After waiting about an hour after checking in, I finally got called back to a room, only for the nurse practitioner to appear a bit confused at my symptoms... although she did say that I would probably need a higher level of care, then she ordered a bunch of x-rays of my neck.  So I was led to the room where they do that, completely nervous and scared because I've never had anything like that done before... but thankfully, the guy that took the pictures was really nice and understanding of me being such a baby about it all.

I will say, waiting for the results was just about the hardest 25 minutes that I've had to face in a very long time.  Especially waiting by myself... going over all of the worst-case scenarios and trying to prevent myself from just breaking down crying right there in that empty room that seemed like it was closing in on me, minute by minute.  Ugh.  I hated it.  In the end, it turned out that my bones were fine, nothing was wrong, but there was a small something in the muscle area, which led her to prescribe a muscle-relaxant medication, as well as ibuprofen.  So hopefully this will fix my problem, because otherwise, I will have to go in for an MRI and I don't know how I'd handle that monster....

I'm Born To Indecision...

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So now is the time when this blog challenge gets down to the nitty-gritty, as the saying goes.  At least for me, because my weekdays tend to be pretty boring and tedious.  I do pretty much the same thing every day, in the same order with the same routine.  But I'm really going to try to pull something out that's at least semi-interesting.  I apologize in advance if it ends up just putting you to sleep instead! 😏

Lately, I have been feeling kind of off.  It's difficult to fully explain what I mean by that.  For example, yesterday afternoon, I kind of had a slight meltdown of indecision and insecurity while getting ready for dinner.  I changed my outfit about three times before settling on just a simple long-sleeved, v-neck black sweater (with jeans), then I proceeded to pick out a scarf to dress it up a little.  I couldn't decide if I wanted to wear my favorite infinity-style scarf, or a classic one with tassels on the ends, and after feeling like I'd apparently forgotten how to even wear a scarf, I decided to go without one altogether.  Then, minutes later, I went back to the tassels, deciding to give it another chance.  Now, you may say this is typically what happens to a girl when she's getting ready, but in that sense, I am not at all typical because it never happens to me.  Yes, I can be incredibly indecisive at times, but never to that extreme, and usually my indecisiveness does not involve clothing.

Of course, I was fine by the time I actually arrived at the restaurant, and nobody was around to witness my small stretch of insecurity beforehand, but I just hate that I let it get to me like that.

Anyway... I'm dreading next week's episode of This Is Us.  The last few minutes of last night's episode were difficult to watch, because it directly leads up to exactly what happened to Jack, when you see that shot of the batteries hanging out of the smoke alarm.  And while I do want to know how it played out, at the same time I don't, because it's so horribly tragic for the kids and Rebecca. 😟 Maybe I'm biased because I love Milo and how he portrays the patriarch of the Pearson family, though I know it's not the end for his character, seeing as how they flash in and out of different periods of the family's lives so much.  But it's still sad.

Credit for the title of this post: thanks to one of my absolute favorite Shinedown songs, Burning Bright. 💙