Bad Omens

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Have you ever randomly found out something that has always been true for several years, you just weren't aware of it?  And now you can't help being constantly surrounded by such a disconcerting and ominous feeling deep inside?  It's already happened to me twice this year.  And it has awakened that feeling; apparently it was always there, I just didn't actually know the truth.  That old phrase, 'the truth hurts,' has never felt more accurate.

I've always had those strange moments where you feel like something bad is going to happen... waiting for the other shoe to drop, if you will... and this sheds some light into the reason why I've felt that irritating feeling deep down in my gut.  The first time this happened, back in the middle of February, what I found out forever changed the way that I see my (paternal) grandfather.  And I hate that I can't see him the same way, even though that side of him was not the person I loved growing up, knowing that it existed in him has been devastating for me, for reasons that I won't explain.

The second time, which happened over the past couple days, is only a theory, since my mind refuses to stop analyzing things and after potentially putting two and two together, it's the only thing that makes sense.  I really don't want to believe that it's the truth though.  Because that would force me to have to admit that one of my closest friends, that I've known at least a third of my life, is not the person that I believed them to be.  And I already have enough supposed friends that I can't count on, when it really matters.  You know the type... who only remember you one day out of the year, usually because social media tells them to, but could care less about what happens to you the rest of the year.  Ugh... on that note, I'm done for today. 😞