Impending Work Decisions...

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Okay, so first off, yesterday was great!  The anniversary 'event' of my forum wasn't anything official nor was there anything specifically planned, except for members acknowledging what the day meant for my forum, but it far exceeded any expectations that I had.  Seeing three of my original members return after so many years was just amazing (and of course, all of the other members who visited) and I couldn't stop smiling almost all day. 😁 I love the nostalgia that April 17th always brings and will continue to bring in the future, no matter if my forum still exists or not.

Anyway.  Today's kind of just been an aftermath of the joy and excitement from yesterday, albeit boring, thanks to the tedious nature of my job.  I feel the need to look for something else with every day that passes, however.  Especially since my paycheck was apparently forgotten this month (I still have not received it!), thanks to my brother's... forgetfulness, I guess?  I wish I could just find something that's close to home, preferably as close as I am now, and NOT in retail.  It sucks because whenever I think about it, that's what I feel I'm best at.  And I really don't want to believe that that's the 'best' I have to offer.

I think the reason I feel that way is because of the first job I had, working at a grocery store when I was 15, when my boss told me, right when I walked through the doors of the building, I needed to leave everything outside.  Meaning that my problems or whatever drama I was dealing with at the time remained out there in the parking lot, waiting for me whenever my shift was over.  And I have never forgotten that.  So I became REALLY good at leaving my emotions on the doorstep, and focusing on the job, constantly being cheerful & friendly, and smiling at every customer and making sure they had the best experience possible, no matter what was going on in my own life.  It was easy for me, because I feel that I'm naturally a happy person, but in a way, it kind of set me up for 'failure,' regarding my future jobs.