Thursday, May 2, 2019
Speaking of Friends...
Ugh, if I'd only known what I was going to find out later that night (yesterday). 😞 Let's just say I was reminded why I don't get close to people. But I let my guard down and it happened, and now I'm paying the price.
It sucks when you have to forcibly realize that someone you considered a good friend is nothing more than someone who will eventually forget you completely. This has been happening gradually for the past few months, but it all came crashing down yesterday, and it hit me that this person really does not care. I'm kicking myself for being so stupid that I let myself believe otherwise. And this feeling right here is the exact reason why I keep myself at a distance from others, apart from a very select few that have already proven their worth and earned that place in my life.
The sad thing is that a part of me felt this was bound to happen, from the moment we met. I just ignored it and hoped for the best. And look where that got me. I'll remember next time.
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it's happening to me too april with co-workers - fellow artists for god sakes. how can we even trust anyone? and when i start to think that it makes me think nothing can ever be pure, real, substantial, or kind - because if there is no such thing as trust EVERYTHING is void. there's a lot of forms of trust that are crucial to our growth, respect, mutual understanding, unity, etc. what sucks is the fact that most people don't have anything to offer. about 80% percent of the population are lonely, just getting by, hate working for the man, tired, friendless, in debt, complicated relationships, lied to by the church or the government. 20% are actually happy. 1% are filthy rich. so why do they play these games? why do they deceive us? is it just to play the game? we don't have anything for them so what could they benefit from tricking us? so just shake the dust off your wings april and rub the sleep out of your eyes and truly know that you are so much better than all the games people play. i hope you feel better. it's been a while, :) sorry i haven't been more active on your blog and forum.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bob! :) I truly appreciate your encouraging and kind words, it helps more than you know (but I have a feeling that you DO know). In the months since posting this, I have sort of forgiven and forgotten, because I don't want to be feeling like I felt when writing that back then. And some days it has worked, but it doesn't mean that that feeling immediately disappears. I'm just not allowing it to get to me as much. Anyway, I feel like you have always understood a part of me that no one else can (or has made an effort to) and at least I know you'll never change from the good person that you are also. :) And don't worry about not being active, as I haven't found the time or motivation to be that active, myself! Haha. *awkward laugh*
Deleteit's predator/prey relations april. it's because you are a good person and people surround good people so they can eat them. predator/prey. just don't feel so bad because life eats life so that life can sustain life. it's all a big never ending game. you find out who your real friends are, though they may have some stupid problems with them, but your heart tells you it's them cause everytime you think of them they make you smile. forgive and forget.
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