Losing Time + Courage Boost

 I'm sitting here just watching the clock tick the minutes away... and really wishing I could just stop time completely.  I feel like that's what I need in order to get everything done.  Literally watching that time slip away right before my eyes just makes me think about all that stuff that I've either been too lazy to do, or just haven't had the time to even start.  It would help if I could win the lottery or suddenly find myself swimming in money so that I wouldn't have to work at all!  Let's face it, that in itself is a major time-killer. 😅  Usually feels like it's all for nothing also.  Just the same old shit, different days.  I'm really not meaning to sound so bitter though.  Lol.

So I'm working from home today because my office building will be testing out security alarms all day... I really miss the times when we did this for at least 50-75% of the month.  I felt like I could get so much more stuff done around the house, along with updating this blog as well.

I do feel like I've been more productive when it comes to reading though.  I don't have the specific amount of books that I've read this year, but I think it's been more than my previous attempts.  Have you ever been... scared to read a book?  Scared isn't the right word... maybe "apprehensive" describes the feeling better.  See, there's this brilliant TV show called The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart that I saw in 2023... and it just absolutely resonated with me on a deeply personal level - in both good and 'bad' ways (some particular scenes are VERY difficult for me to watch).  I found out that it was a book... and had it on my radar to read for awhile afterwards (because you know how much detail they have to omit for television/film adaptations), but I guess I had to build up the courage to actually buy it (which sounds ridiculous, I know).  And now that I have, it is slightly scary to me, because of how much I know it's going to bring up some old memories that I would rather leave buried in the past.  I'm still working up that same courage to start reading it...