Temporary Setback

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So I finished my first book of 2018 this morning!  Ironically, it is the self-help style book that has no relevance to my life (haha) but it was an informative & amusing read that left a smile on my face after every reading session.  (More detailed review listed on the 2018 Reading Challenge tab up there at the top)

Anyway, Jacques will be here all this week doing at-home training classes for work, which will give me a small taste of what it would be like if he worked from home.  Definitely a plus in the gas department, as he wouldn't have to drive those 90 miles every day.  Since I'm slightly 'kicked out' of the office until he finishes at 1PM, I was planning to start up my 4-mile-daily-walk again... but of course, I woke up to find that it's raining heavily outside, with no plans for it to stop anytime soon, not to mention my stomach attempting to kill me. (Nothing to worry about, there's a reason.)  Ugh.

Which brings me to the fact that this week has started out with some slight disappointment.  This is a monthly occurrence though.  Let me just come out and say it, Jacques and I have been casually trying to have a baby since we got married last March.  Right now, we're treating it in the sense that if it happens, it happens, if not... we're not going to make a big deal out of it.  But I can't help feeling slightly disappointed each month when that certain 'visitor' shows up, which is a guarantee that I'm not pregnant.  Last October I went so far as to take a pregnancy test, because I was late and had some other pains that would indicate a possibility, and I surprised myself with how disappointed I was to see that big fat NO on the test.

My dad is so ready to have another grandkid, and he doesn't let a phone conversation go by without a casual "So, are you pregnant yet?" or "Any news?!"  I'm even getting it from our realtor now as well!  Lol.  She was out in our neighborhood yesterday, holding an open house three doors down from us, so we stopped in for a quick visit and my dad's eagerness somehow came into the conversation, which she responded to by looking at me, saying, "Well, are you?"

I remember when I was a kid and saw a movie where the mother gives birth, but ends up dying in the process (She's Out of Control [1989]), I was terrified, because in my 6-year-old mind, having a baby meant death.  I realize that is completely silly now.  But the idea scares me for different reasons nowadays.