Happy, But a Little Lost...

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I started out my day with The Scorch Trials playing in the background while I worked, in preparation for tonight's "date night" in going to see the final movie of the Maze Runner trilogy that comes out today, The Death Cure.  We saw the first movie back when it came out in 2014, without having read the books, or even hearing of the series.  And I was hooked, because it's an intriguing storyline that kept me interested enough to want to see what the maze was all about and why they were stuck there.  I plan to read the books also, maybe making it part of my reading challenge, once I've gotten through the Odd Thomas series.

One of my current favorite songs came on the radio earlier when I had to run a small errand.  It was Sir Sly's &Run.  It's one of those songs where the instant I hear it, I can't help but move, in an attempt at dancing, although I know I probably look ridiculous because I can't dance, but when that song's on, I just don't care! 😝 The only other songs that really get me feeling like that have been Finger Eleven's Paralyzer and Walk the Moon's Shut Up and Dance.  There's a more sentimental reason behind Paralyzer, but I won't go into that now.  Back to &Run... I love the lyrics.  Specifically: "Happy, but a little lost..." because that is sometimes exactly how I feel about my life.  Word for word.  And "sometimes the world feels loud."  Which needs no explanation, really... I like the world quiet, and I can't quite deal with it being too loud.

Anyway, back to that "happy, but a little lost" feeling.  I do feel like I'm happy with my life, but I also feel lost within it sometimes, because I'm stuck and I can't seem to find my way forward.  This all leads to the fact that I'm going to have to start looking for a new job soon... a real one, as the hubby says, since apparently mine's not real enough because I work for my dad. 😒  Honestly, I get what he means though, since there's no real opportunity for advancement in the company.  I've been holding off because I hate the whole interview process and having to sell myself and the waiting and the stress and potential rejection, and everything else that comes with it.  I've never been a confident person in that regard... I can do the smiling and being nice and polite easy enough, but I wish I had an "auto-pilot" mode that I could just turn on during interviews, that speaks with someone else's point of view of the kind of person and worker that I am.  Ugh.  Funny what a simple song can bring out, huh?!