Life moved and I stopped to taste it...

First off, happy birthday to my late mother-in-law, Elizabeth!  You have been missed SO much these almost 4 years, and I wish I could hear your words of wisdom just one more time.

 Life moves too quickly.  I can't believe we are already more than halfway into the 8th month of 2024.  When we're young, we just can't wait for the years to pass by until we are older, then when that finally happens, we wonder how we missed it all.  Life just seems cruel that way.  And I have never been prepared for how fast it's moving lately.

I realize that I completely failed to do any posting whatsoever in 2023.  Considering how incredibly shitty of a year it was... I am going to give myself a pass on that.  I won't go into too many details, but... it was just too filled with death.  I also can't believe it's already been well over a year since we lost Dozer, our great dane.  Our house was so empty without his presence.  I can still see his face, locking eyes with mine for the last time, as he let out one quick yelp and was gone forever.  I like to think he was telling me he loved me in that moment, and that everything was going to be okay. 💙🐾 He's forever in my heart.

We also lost Reno early in that year, our long-time family friend that we'd been taking care of and helping out in his older age.  He was so incredibly independent and hated asking for help, but we were grateful that he ended up letting us do exactly that.  He was also one of the most generous and nicest people I've ever had the pleasure to know.  It was a very difficult loss.  I still find myself in slight denial that he's really gone.  He was such a staple in our lives for as long as I have lived here in California.

Life has been much quieter around here for the past year and a half--especially around the holidays, but we are learning to adjust.  I'm going to try and post here more often, and actually stick to it this time.  I PROMISE!

One Year Later...

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... TO THE DAY.  Wow.  So I noticed that my last entry was exactly a year ago, when we lost Guinness.  I can still remember that day as if it was only yesterday.  I was reminded this morning via Google by a sweet photo of him on his last day alive, embraced by my mother-in-law.  Little did I know she would be the next to leave us, only 3 short months later.  It's hard to believe how much things can change in a year.  Well, no, I guess it's not that hard to believe, honestly.  A year is a long time.  A truer statement is that the days go by too fast.  But I don't want to start sounding like a broken record.

We are now a 2-dog household again though, thanks to taking in my mother-in-law's chihuahua Mocha after she passed.  There was no way we were going to just leave her where she was, plus she is the only other dog that Dozer gets along with, so it worked out fine.  And it's interesting having both ends of the size spectrum in the same house. 

As for work, the only thing that has changed since last year is that I am on a three-week rotation where I commute into the office for one week, then work from home for two weeks, and the cycle starts over again.  My week in the office happens to be this one and it's been really draining this time, because my mom just left yesterday morning, after a two-week visit.  I woke up around 3am in order to say goodbye to her and just couldn't get back to sleep.  Same for today, though this time it was due to the hubby having to go into work early.  So I'm tired.  And I miss her already. 😔

RIP Guinness /|\ 2006 ~ [9/14] 2020

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It's been a difficult few days in our house.  Late Friday afternoon we were faced with that all-too-familiar hard decision of having to say goodbye to this sweet face~

This adorably smug yet charming Irish setter had been a constant in my life since I moved out here to California back in July of 2009, and it wasn't hard to love him.  Especially after hearing how he was rescued from being abandoned in a Nevada home with his brother, and how his antics while living life in a foster home earned him the nickname 'Spiderman.' 

He'd developed a mass over the past 2 months or so that rapidly grew larger over the past month, and our wishful thinking that it wasn't cancer didn't pay off.  We hadn't seen him in much pain, but then again, he wasn't the kind to show it either.  I think he sensed what was happening yesterday though, because we definitely saw the anguish in him, and it was heartbreaking.  And I know it would have been selfish of us, had we not made the decision for him... but I just miss him being here.  The way he'd rest his paw on your arm or leg while you're sitting on the couch, simply for you to hold it.  He'd hold your hand forever if he could.  It makes my heart hurt less knowing that he's no longer suffering through the pain, because he was too good of a dog to prolong that for any reason.  And much like my Brandy waiting for me all those years ago, I know he would have held on to the very last moment for us, if we had let him.

But at least we got to say a proper goodbye over the weekend, and spoil him silly by giving him as much steak and affection and love that we could. 💚🐾💚  We will miss you Guinness, and you'll always hold a special place in our hearts.

Confidence, Crumbled

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So it has been a rough couple of weeks for me.  Let me just say I didn't miss anything about the process of having to find a job within these past 8 years that I've had a steady one.  It sucks and I hate the way that it's making me feel about myself.

Just three weeks ago I was SO excited after I received a call from the staffing agency about an opportunity they had found that seemed to be perfect for me.  Yeah, it was a little further than I wanted, but at least the pay was exactly what I had asked for, and it was only a straight shot west, only having to drive on basically one highway.  So I was told that I would get a call back once she had some definite information on a time and date for an interview.  I've been checking in every week since that phone call, only to get told that they had to deal with an internal loophole of some sort, and that it's just a slow process... I'm still waiting to hear any information whatsoever. 😞  I hate getting my hopes up like that, only to have it all come crashing down.  Though I guess I shouldn't say that because I haven't heard anything definite yet, either way.  Ugh.

My mom is also visiting here until September 3rd, so I am trying not to dwell too much on this, at least until she leaves, because I don't wanna be the reason that she doesn't enjoy her vacation.  Some days it's difficult to keep the smile on my face though, no matter how much I try to fake it.

Bad Omens

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Have you ever randomly found out something that has always been true for several years, you just weren't aware of it?  And now you can't help being constantly surrounded by such a disconcerting and ominous feeling deep inside?  It's already happened to me twice this year.  And it has awakened that feeling; apparently it was always there, I just didn't actually know the truth.  That old phrase, 'the truth hurts,' has never felt more accurate.

I've always had those strange moments where you feel like something bad is going to happen... waiting for the other shoe to drop, if you will... and this sheds some light into the reason why I've felt that irritating feeling deep down in my gut.  The first time this happened, back in the middle of February, what I found out forever changed the way that I see my (paternal) grandfather.  And I hate that I can't see him the same way, even though that side of him was not the person I loved growing up, knowing that it existed in him has been devastating for me, for reasons that I won't explain.

The second time, which happened over the past couple days, is only a theory, since my mind refuses to stop analyzing things and after potentially putting two and two together, it's the only thing that makes sense.  I really don't want to believe that it's the truth though.  Because that would force me to have to admit that one of my closest friends, that I've known at least a third of my life, is not the person that I believed them to be.  And I already have enough supposed friends that I can't count on, when it really matters.  You know the type... who only remember you one day out of the year, usually because social media tells them to, but could care less about what happens to you the rest of the year.  Ugh... on that note, I'm done for today. 😞

Failed Expectations

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Well... first off, it's been way too long since I last wrote.  The latter part of the year just kinda flew by too quickly for me to even attempt to catch up.  So I guess I will be starting off with a clean slate once more in 2019.  I suppose I should update the title of this blog to "Somewhat Everyday Scribbles," huh?  😅

Over the past month, I started doing something that I always refused to do... I started playing World of Warcraft (WoW).  Haha.  My friend Amanda has been trying to get me to play for like 15 years now... so I feel that if she sees this, she might freak out a bit. 😋 (though she probably won't see it, but she's welcome to prove me wrong!)  I have to admit, it's fun.   And I hate to admit that, but there you have it.  It's very similar to SWTOR, which has been great for me to get to know the interface and mechanics of the game.  The hubby has started playing it with me as well, so it's at least something for the both of us to do together when boredom hits.  Though we still have yet to get any of our characters to level 20, which is when we can start utilizing mounts.  We keep getting to around level 13-15 and then having the urge to make new characters.  Haha.  Hopefully we will hit that milestone one of these days.  I'm still playing Nexus as well, though mostly just for chatting with friends, the occasional event and daily minor questing when it's available.

I suppose I should reflect on 2018, with it being only days away from ending, but part of me doesn't really want to do that, since that would require remembering that my Granny passed away back at the end of August.  It happened entirely too fast, and it was particularly devastating for me, especially since I was planning to go visit her in November when we made our annual trip to Oklahoma.  I still went to visit her, but it was to her grave instead. 😢  I made sure to place her favorite flowers (purple carnations) on her tombstone that she now shares with my Paw-Paw.  I know she is happy to finally be reunited with him though, so that is a small comfort.  I miss them both so much.

Anyway, I will end this post with that.  Don't expect another post this year though.  I will attempt to start fresh in 2019!  Happy New Year!

Checking In

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So... I know it's been awhile now since my last update.  As the year has flown by, I've gotten less and less motivated to write every day.  Plus, over the past couple months, I've become more and more involved in Nexus, which takes up a lot of whatever free time I have, especially since I have decided to attempt to dabble more into the RP aspect with one of my characters.  I'd forgotten exactly how much time it sucks up.  I'll try to update more often though, without making that sound like a broken record! -sheepish grin-

Anyway... today is my cousin Kara's birthday! 🎈🎂😊  Happy birthday to her!  She just gave birth to her first child (an adorable little girl) a few months ago, so I'm sure she's more focused on her, rather than the fact that it's her birthday.  But whatever she's doing, I hope she's having a blast.

Our plans for the rest of the day include meeting up with my brother-in-law, his wife and a couple of his grandkids to see Ant-Man & the Wasp later this afternoon!  I love what Paul Rudd brings to the character, and I'm excited to see what this sequel brings to the Marvel world, especially after the intense events of Infinity War a few months ago.  I haven't researched if the timeline is supposed to follow that or not, but I suppose that will be explained, possibly.

Spontaneous Saturday Soiree

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First off, happy birthday to my friend and partner-in-crime in Nexus, Matt!  Or "Cause" as he is known within the game. 😄🎂🎈🎁  He is definitely a unique kind of person and so fun to talk to.  I've known him for the better part of a decade and he's never failed to make me laugh.  I hope he's having a wonderful day, whatever he ends up doing!

My day started with a trip out to the farmer's market for breakfast and a bunch of tasty fruits to take home with us. It's getting hotter out here as well, which I'm not excited about, but I can't really do anything to change it, other than pick up and move.  Haha.  I wish I was more of a fan of the hot weather, but I'd just much rather be freezing and have the ability to bundle on more clothes and blankets, rather than the alternative! 😓

Anyway. We got spontaneously invited to the dirt track racing craziness tonight with my brother-in-law, so that's the plan for my Saturday night. It's actually been pretty fun the few times that I've gone. That's all I have for today.

Be Careful What You Wish For

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So, remember that post back at the beginning of April where I was complaining about the hubby not taking time off work during my mom's visit out here?  Yeah, scratch that altogether.  He ended up taking the time off work, and now I'm finding myself wishing that he hadn't. 😒  I'm not going to go into the full reasoning behind that, but let's just say I can't stand his attitude towards her, and how I get caught in the middle of it.  And then having to put on a 'happy face' for my mom's benefit... I can only do that so long before it starts sifting to the surface. 🙄 ugh.

That's all I really have to say for now.  Hopefully things will work themselves out, but now I'm just really starting to dread any time that I have to spend with the two of them together.  I suck at conflict resolution. 😐

Jumping Back to Fitness...

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So, first off, today marks the first walk I've completed in several months, as you can see from the image over there on the left.  The numbers aren't great, because I'm so outta shape from being derailed by my neck issues back in February, but it's a start.  I'd actually forgotten that I told my mom we'd start up my morning-walking-routine today, and first thing when she woke up, she reminded me.  I was tempted to just say screw it once again, and start tomorrow, but I ended up making myself get out there and get it done.  And it feels good.  I always forget how good it feels to get that out of the way, first thing in the morning before I start out my day.  So yeah, that's one bonus that has resulted from my mom's visit here this month! 😄  Although now I've worked off everything I had for breakfast, so I may need to look into eating something else to satisfy my slightly-growling tummy.

The best thing was actually being with her on Mother's Day yesterday, though.  That was a first in several years, and a long-time coming.  I'd missed being able to hug my mom on Mother's Day.  We had a relaxing morning and afternoon, before going out to dinner at a local teppanyaki restaurant, called Shirasoni.  It is amazingly delicious, and the "show" that you pay for is always so entertaining and fun!  We all had a great time, along with my mother-in-law & brother-in-law & Reno.  And now we have lunch for today and possibly tomorrow as well, haha.  Anyway, I hope everyone who reads this had a Happy Mother's Day yesterday and you were able to spend some quality time with your mother as well!

That's all I really have for right now.  My mom and I don't have big plans for today, other than getting a few hours in for work, and hitting the grocery store later, then continuing with our Star Wars binge-watching. (her idea!)  At least until the hubby gets home from work, then we're going to have homemade tacos for dinner and catch whatever shows are on tonight.  Until next time!

False Hope

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Well... that hope that May would be the month where I wouldn't miss any days for this blog is forever gone.  Haha.  It has been busy here, what with trying to get everything cleaned up and ready for my mom's visit for the next two weeks.  I'm so excited that I'll be seeing her on Wednesday!  But this massive cleaning of the house is wearing me out.  Although it doesn't help that I ran into a door handle yesterday morning, so now a large portion of my forearm is bruised and sore.  It was a really hard hit, I couldn't move my arm at all for several moments.  And yes, I really am that stupidly clumsy. 😒

Anyway, that brings me to a small rant that I have to get off my chest.  Although I don't know how to really explain it, because it has to do with something that I can't openly talk about... ugh... I hate how something traumatic happened to me over 10 years ago, and it follows me around forever, changing how people react to certain things, at least the people who know what happened.  I don't want to forever be known as 'that girl.'  But I'm afraid that I always will be, at least in their eyes.  For now, I just brush it off and move on, which is really all I can do.  Sorry for being so vague. 

I suppose I should get back to cleaning now.  I have so many more tedious little tasks to get done, and I really hope I'm going to be able to get through most of them today, rather than tomorrow... I hope the title of this entry isn't accurate in that regard though!  Haha.

Oh and on a side note, today marks NINE YEARS since my hubby and I first started dating!  👀

Friday of Doom... or Boredom

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Well, it's Friday the 13th.  I hate when the 13th falls on a Friday!  It makes the day seem doomed from the start.  Though nothing bad has happened so far, but I hope I didn't just jinx myself by saying that. 😶

Anyway... my nerves are still going haywire but I've managed to keep my mind mostly off of that.  The hubby's already home from work, after working a half-day, but I'm not sure if we have anything specifically exciting planned for tonight, or even worth mentioning.  We need to hit the grocery store in a little bit, once we figure out what veggies to have with the pork sirloin tip roast that I defrosted this morning... though we may end up pushing that back to tomorrow night and just going out for a quick bite to eat tonight, maybe to our favorite local pizza place that is conveniently located next to Trader Joe's, which is our usual stop after eating there.  They also have this amazing mini chocolate cake, called a No Name Cake, but it's really just an elaborate Ding Dong (although SO much better) and I LOVE them! 

I talked to my mom today and she's getting excited about her visit out here in just three weeks!  I'm excited too, but that also means that I need to start some major cleaning of the house before she gets here.  Starting with the office, this room is such a mess and I hate that I've let it get this bad.  If we don't get around to cleaning this weekend, I'm going to use every free moment I can find next week, to start the cleaning process.  Well, mostly every moment.  I really hope I'm going to be in a cleaning mood for these next few weeks! 😄😳  Wish me luck on that!

Just Call Me 'Chauffeur'

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So I spent most of today driving my mother-in-law and Reno around our little 'neck of the woods'.  I'm my mother-in-law's usual "driver" when she goes to see her eye doctor, because she usually comes out of there with her eyes dilated and can't drive herself.  I was jokingly called her 'Uber' last time we were there, by another patient.  I'm always mistaken for her granddaughter also, instead of daughter-in-law.  Haha.  Anyway, this time Reno joined us, because he'd been needing to get his eyes checked and so he asked my mother-in-law to make an appointment for him with her doctor.

Turns out he's a bit blind in one eye and as I understood it, they did a minor procedure on it during his visit, so he definitely couldn't drive.  Then we found a coffee shop and hung out for the next 2 hours until meeting up with the hubby over at the Food Truck Thursday event, seeing as this was the last time in a little bit that the lobster truck (Cousins Maine Lobster) was going to be there, and Reno wanted to get some lobster bisque.

Also, I found out that my dad went back to the hospital last night, and I was completely unaware until I get a text message from him this afternoon, starting with "The diagnosis was good..." and I immediately texted him back, saying I didn't even know he was in the hospital!  He'd sent me a text last night but it never came through on my end... Ugh.  I'm just glad he's going to be okay... he had knee replacement surgery back on March 22nd and he almost passed out last night during a dinner date with friends, because of some blood clots in his lungs (relating to the surgery).  I would have been so worried last night if I'd actually received that message.

That's about it for now.  I've had a huge headache all day, so I'm off to relax and maybe fall asleep early. 💤

Another Birthday!

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So it's safe to say that March is a pretty important month in our family, and today is another special day, as it is my dad's birthday!  Although he's probably not having the best time at the moment, seeing as he just recently had knee replacement surgery and is still in recovery.  But I still made sure to send him a 'happy birthday' text early this morning, since he is supposed to be resting and I didn't want to possibly wake him up if he was sleeping.  (He's 3 hours ahead of me, so it wouldn't have been too early to contact him.)

So anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad! 🎂🎈🎉

Here are some photos from his early years, along with my favorites from my wedding last year. 💙💜

I love him so much and I would not be the person I am today without him in my life.  I hope he manages to have the best day he can possibly have, in his current condition.

A Forgotten Birthday... On Purpose!

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First off, this is another special day in my family, this time because it is my brother's birthday.  I called him first thing this morning, and he claimed to have forgotten that today was his birthday, because he said at his age, he just wanted to let the day go by.  (He's 3 years older than me.)  Haha.  I wished him a happy birthday anyway, and found out that he is at least being taken out to dinner for his birthday, but that is the extent of the "celebration."  Anyway, so happy birthday to him! 🎈🎂😊  Hopefully, he will have some cake and ice cream, or some kind of similar dessert.

In other news... today has been a very laid-back kind of day.  My mom called with some computer problems this morning, and I spent some time getting MalwareBytes installed on her computer remotely (via TeamViewer) and it turned out that she had 748 'threats.' 😧  So I made sure to quarantine all of those bad boys and advised her to do a scan at least every two weeks, unless the computer starts acting funky again.  Whew, crisis averted.

We seriously have not done anything else today.  And I don't really have anything else to talk about.  Haha.  So I guess I'll see you all tomorrow. 😉

Happy Birthday Granny!

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So today is a special day in my family, as it is my Granny's birthday.  She is 94 years old today!  In honor of that, I thought I'd share a couple of photos.  I've only recently come into contact with some really early photos of her that I'd never seen before, which is pretty cool.  I love looking at old photos, specifically the backgrounds and seeing how much things have changed since those days.  There's just something that has always fascinated me about it.  And even more so in exploring old areas and finding buildings that were around back then as well.  Anyway...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANNY! 🎈🎂🎉🎁

I think this is when she was a teenager, so I'm guessing this was maybe late 1930s or early 1940s.  There's no confirmation on the date though, so that is purely a guess.

The most recent photo I have of my Granny & I together; this was taken in July 2016. 💜

She is the sweetest person and I love her so much.  I wish I could get out to see her much more often than I'm able to.  But I know she is surrounded by family where she is and she gets to see them very often.  She's remarkably alert and of sound mind (though she does forget things sometimes, such as the fact that I live in California) and I only hope that I can say the same when I'm her age!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

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Happy St. Patty's Day from Guinness & I!

Well, first off, happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone who happens to stumble upon this post! 🍀🍻🎉  This is the second year in a row that we have not gone to my mother-in-law's house, to have dinner of corned beef & cabbage, with her and at least one of my brother-in-laws.  Last year, it was because it was the aftermath of our wedding and my visiting family and I were [slowly] traveling through wine country over to San Francisco for the weekend.  This year, it's because my mother-in-law has been my brother-in-law's live-in caregiver after his stint in the hospital and so we weren't sure how he would be doing, so no definite plans were made.  But I have to say, I'm really missing our old St. Paddy's Day "tradition."  We're planning to have pork tamales for dinner instead, with refried black beans and tortilla chips, which I am not so excited about.  Eh.  Oh well, maybe next year life won't throw us so many obstacles and it will work out once more.  I'm not even a huge fan of corned beef, yet I find myself really missing it this time of year.  At least I had a St. Patrick's Day shirt to wear this year, which you can sorta see in the photo above!  Though I still got pinched by the hubby's brother earlier today, because he closed his eyes and claimed that he didn't see me wearing green.  Ha ha. -rolls eyes-

Speaking of earlier today, we went out and saw Tomb Raider in the IMAX theatre.  I wasn't really looking forward to it, because I've never been a big fan of the Lara Croft thing, but I have to admit that I did enjoy the movie, MUCH more than I was expecting!  It had plenty of action and mystery, and even a little glimpse of horror, which took me somewhat by surprise.  The sequence at the end of the film was probably my favorite part, where they're making their way deeper into the tomb, having to figure out the puzzles in the blink of an eye, with their lives at stake.  I was on the edge of my seat almost the whole time, ready to hide my eyes if necessary!

That's about all I have for today.  Hope everyone has had a wonderful day and remembered to drink responsibly, if you're taking part in the celebration of St. Patrick's Day with alcohol. 😉

The Story of Us

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Today is the one year anniversary of our wedding!  

I can't believe it's already been a whole year! The video above is a montage I created shortly before the wedding last year in celebration of the relationship with my husband, throughout the years that we've been together, from the moment (literally, the first picture is from that day!) when we decided to take our 5-year-friendship that step further into a relationship in May of 2009, leading up to our marriage on March 16, 2017. 💕😍

That's all for today.

Makin' Plans...

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This challenge is getting kind of tiresome, but I refuse to miss any more days than I already have, so here we are again. ☺️ I hope everyone who happens to stumble upon my blog had a great start to their week. I know Mondays can be horrible for those with a weekly '9-to-5' boring office job. Although when I had a job like that, I never really experienced that because I loved the job. Mainly because of my amazing co-workers... I had a lot of 'second mothers' there.

Anyway... so the hubby and I are attempting to plan a little vacation for our one-year wedding anniversary next month. Though if we will actually go anywhere or if it will end up as a "staycation" depends on what's going on with my brother-in-law's recovery at the time. His mother usually stays at our house and takes care of our dogs while we're gone, but she is planning to be her son's live-in caregiver when he gets home, so it's up in the air right now. Our original plan was to fly to Seattle, since neither the hubby nor myself has ever been there, and explore the city in about 5 days. I think we can still work out traveling up there, but now the plan is to drive, if it works out that his mom can stay here over the weekend. Since my brother-in-law does have his wife and son to help out in caring for him, I have high hopes that we'll be able to go. Which makes me excited! 😁 I love exploring places that I've never been before! Along with the road trip, it should be fun. We'd be taking my car, so that's also another first!

Oh and by the way, someone from the next town over from us won the lottery, a whopping TWO MILLION DOLLARS! So lucky.

I better end this now so I can focus all my attention on Lucifer in 15 minutes! 😍

More Lazy, Less Stress Please

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And so ends our incredibly lazy weekend!  Seriously, we hardly accomplished anything, other than starting the process of cleaning out the fridge yesterday. (Which we did not finish today, I might add.)  But really, I feel that a lazy weekend was exactly what I needed right now, after the stress of this past week, with my neck issues. Still not feeling 100% in that department, but I feel like it's getting better, albeit extremely slowly.

I didn't even remember that today was the end of the Olympics either, until I saw the closing ceremony on the TV at the restaurant we tried out for the first time tonight for dinner. So that makes me happy that our shows are returning this week!  I've definitely missed having something substantial to watch every night.  We didn't end up watching any of the Olympics at all... it just didn't catch my interest this time.  Maybe in another 4 years.

My brother-in-law might be getting discharged this Wednesday. I'm sure he will be happy to finally get out of the hospital. The hubby thinks he won't ever go back to work, at least not doing what he was doing before (he ran his own business in the tile work industry). But even though he's going home, he'll still need someone around constantly, as he's not to the level of recovery where he can fend for himself yet.  I'm just happy he's doing well enough to be receiving a potential discharge date. 😊

Anyway, now I'm off to bed. Goodnight, world. 😴